Getting to this age and stage of life, we (Patrick & Lee) both know enough about our unconscious material and be mindful of how we approach new endeavors. Instead of focusing only on the opportunities, we were very clear to also spell out our concerns and challenges.

In fact we scoured our psyches, making sure to divulge as much of the shadow material as we could see. We asked ourselves:

• What are the potential pitfalls of weaving our lives together in this way?
• What conflicts can we imagine emerging?
• How do we think this will impact our friendship?

With these questions in mind, we made suggestions early on about how to navigate during the troubles spots. Because trouble spots are guaranteed. It’s not a matter of “if” trouble spots, it’s a matter of “when.”

We also discussed how to get back to peace, ease, grace, connection, and open-heartedness should a conflict arise.

Both of us are great at taking responsibility for what’s up for us. And we both practice conscious communication. And we have frequent and informal conversations. And we feed our friendship through hanging out and checking in about non-work related topics. All of those help.

But we also came up with some questions to ask in those moments when we might feel stuck. We keep these in our back pockets to use as needed.

• How can we turn up the volume on what’s already working?
• What truths do I need to tell? 
• What do I need from you right now? 
• Does money play a part in this situation? 
• How can we move from judgment to curiosity in order to get more clarity? 
• Is it time to redefine or redirect our work together?
• Where are we in the life/death/life cycle?

Many thanks to Maureen & Zell from Blueprint of We for some of the foundational concepts of planning how to get back to grace and peace in our relationships.