I got a call from the President…

I got a call this week from the President of a non-profit cause.

As I listened to her intentions for handing off her efforts to the next generation of leaders, I saw some common threads emerging around the challenge of creating a culture that honors both the past AND the future.

I was able to offer her a tool that I shared with another leadership team in the fall that I call, “managing both sides of the river.” In both the case of her non-profit and the organization that I served in the fall, they happen to be communities that have a river flowing their town so this was a timely and relevant metaphor.

I’ve enjoyed having a dual career in both hospice and leadership development.

I’m seeing more than ever how these two arenas inform one another during the conversations I’m holding each week with bold leaders bringing their visions into the world. Here are three key sequential skills that I’ve seen are essential at the end of life and how they are applied to organizational life and leadership development:

1. Pausing often to connect

End of Life Example: At the end of life, being more present and taking time to appreciate one another makes sense. We all want to have time to celebrate and to share stories with our loved ones in our final months, weeks and hours.

Leadership Application: When we apply this essential human to human

connection to business or the workplace, the idea of “pausing often to connect”

may sound too sentimental, too soft or even unrealistic. However, the most

fruitful leaders can be both soft on peoples’ hearts while also being hard on the

process of producing results. I’ve coached many extraordinary leaders who use

the approach of being both, “soft of people and hard on results”.

Frankly, when we are uncomfortable with these soft skills, we simply make excuses for not investing time and money into them. As a leaders confidence grows, they

intuitively manage the “both sides of the river” by being both “soft on people” and

“hard on results.”

The most fruitful and effective leaders all have their own unique way of

connecting both one-on-one with others and holding meaningful conversations

with their teams about what matters most in our personal and professional lives.

In truth, there are leaders who do not focus on this, and they also deliver results.

In my experience, however, these results arise from driven behavior with only

short-term gains in productivity. The truly fruitful leader is working towards adding

long term strategic value by building a culture that transforms everyday problems

into opportunities for exercising the muscles of collaboration and innovation.

This occurs organically when the connections already exist.

We may all choose either the old habitual paradigm of short-term gains or the long sustainable view that our local and world crises are compelling us to move into.

2. Purposely practicing the soft skills that deliver hard results

End of Life Example: When we are reconciling any differences with loved ones towards creating a sense of peace before we die, there is a shared space created when we listen deeply and are curious about any unintended impact that we have had on others and also listen to understand more clearly the intentions of others. As one person said to me years ago, “They did what they did, and I’ve done what I’ve done. That is the way it has always been between human beings. Now, I’m seeking to understand their best of intentions and to see any unintended impact that I’ve had on them.” This is a skill we may call, “managing both intention and impact.” It’s another example of “managing both sides of the river.”

Leadership Application: Mutuality between departments, disciplines and especially

between managers and the people doing the work is the only way to create a culture

that both recruits and retains excellent talent. Too often, old stories and

characterizations last for years. It is a considerable waste of time and resources when

we are too busy rehearsing the past and not talking about the here and now.

3. Asking questions like, “Who We Are and What We Are Doing Here?”

End of Life Example: Years ago, a health care executive shared a story with her

leadership team about walking into the lobby of a hospital and finding an older woman

sitting in a wheelchair waiting briefly to be escorted to an appointment. Sensing the

patients confused look on her face, the leader knelt and spoke with the woman. The

woman looked up and asked this kind leader, “Who am I? What am I doing here?”

This leader held the woman’s hand and saw the wrist band with her name and simply said, “Your name is Mary Johnson and we are here to help you.” Upon hearing this, the woman immediately melted into her chair and smiled.

Leadership Application: This leaders point was how simple and yet profound this

question was and how answering a simple question helped someone relax in the

moment. This leader challenged all of us to ask ourselves this same question when

setting up the context of any meeting or interaction. One of the most powerful skills a

leader can practice is to lead inquiry and to ask the questions that lead to deeper

understanding of any situation.

What can people facing a crisis or the end of life, teach us all about how we foster and pass on our life’s work to the next generation?

Ultimately, we are all dying and preparing to leave our bodies, our homes and our life’s work to our closest family and friends. In the leadership arena, we are also always preparing to leave a cause to the next generation of leaders. I’m glad that I got this call from the President and that I had an opportunity to reflect on three skills that are essential for navigating these complex times.

May you find your own way of Pausing Often, Managing Both Sides of The River and Asking Questions. Until we reflect again, please be good and kind to yourself.